Nature, Nurture, and the Leaders We Become
Where grounded leadership meets courageous growth.
The conversation around nature versus nurture pops up everywhere in parenting, leadership, and personal development. We ask ourselves—what shapes a person more? Who they inherently are, or the experiences that mold them along the way?
I’ve always believed it’s both. But it wasn’t until recently, during parent-teacher conferences of all places, that I saw the concept play out with striking clarity. And the more I pay attention, the more I see it in my children every single day.
Three Kids, Three Stories, Three Proof Points
Maddie — Order, Structure, Predictability
Our first child.
Our test run.
The one we raised with the “perfect” schedule because we thought order would make things easier. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
But something fascinating happened as she grew—she craved order. Structure. Predictability. Change feels hard for her because her entire early world revolved around routine. Nurture didn’t just influence her; it left fingerprints.
Olivia — The Frequent Flyer in the Medical World
Olivia spent more days in medical offices than playgrounds in her early years. Hospitals were her second home. When a child spends years navigating illness, uncertainty becomes familiar—and sometimes, fear does too.
Now?
We just crossed the 50th day of school, and she’s been to the nurse… more times than I can count. Olivia’s experiences shaped her hyper-vigilance around her body. Nature gave her sensitivity; nurture amplified it.
Allie — The Go-With-the-Flow Kid
Sweet Allie arrived in chaos.
COVID baby.
Night-shift mom.
A nanny in and out of the house. Routines were more suggestions than systems.
So now, she floats.
She rolls with change.
She adapts.
Not without challenges—but with a flexibility her sisters don’t naturally have. Again, nurture leaves a mark.
The Bird, The Panic, and the Mirror
Against my better judgment, I let Maddie buy a bird. Her hard-earned money, her responsibility—so I took a deep breath and said yes.
Fast-forward to the first quiet evening after bringing it home. I was curled up on the couch, basking in the soft crackle of the wood stove, when a tiny chirp cut through the silence.
Totally normal.
Birds chirp. That’s what they do.
But Maddie wasn’t prepared for it.
Her world thrives on predictability—and this new, feather-covered curveball wasn’t part of the script.
Every chirp was met with panic.
Every flutter triggered a cascade of what ifs.
She rushed into the room breathless, convinced something was wrong because she didn’t expect… normal bird things.
And there it was: nature and nurture intertwining like a mirror held up to both of us. Her need for order. Her overwhelm in the unfamiliar. Her sensitive nervous system reacting before her logic catches up.
She gets that from me.
Deeply.
Painfully.
Beautifully.
From Parenting to Leadership: The Same Rules Apply
Watching my kids navigate life—shaped by their personalities and their experiences—has made me deeply reflect on leadership, especially in hospice.
Every nurse who steps into our world is a blend of what they brought with them and what we give them next.
Their nature is who they are.
But their nurture—the environment we create—determines who they become as professionals.
And this is where leadership matters:
A nurturing environment builds confident, compassionate hospice nurses.
A chaotic or dismissive environment creates hesitation, fear, and burnout.
A culture rooted in support produces future leaders.
A culture rooted in criticism creates future exits.
We either shape the next generation to rise,
or we unintentionally teach them to shrink.
Just like our children, our team members are being shaped in real time—by our tone, our structure, our patience, our expectations, and the way we respond when something “chirps” unexpectedly.
Mindful Leadership Is Modern Leadership
Nature vs. nurture isn’t just a parenting debate.
It’s a leadership truth.
We don’t get to choose someone’s nature.
But we do influence their environment.
The question for every leader—especially those guiding new hospice nurses—is simple:
Are we nurturing growth, or nurturing fear?
Are we creating confidence, or creating chaos?
Are we reinforcing strengths, or triggering panic?
Just like Maddie and her bird, people thrive when they feel safe enough to explore, learn, and make mistakes—without spiraling into fear of doing something wrong.
Because the way we lead today becomes the story they carry tomorrow.
And leaders?
That’s nurture.
That’s impact.
That’s legacy.
Where grounded leadership meets courageous growth.
