Growth: It's Like a Roller Coaster, But With More Emotions
Anyone who knows me is well aware of my obsession with self-help audiobooks and guided meditations. The value of both has become even clearer during this pivotal time in my life.
Right now, I find myself at a significant personal crossroads, reflecting on multiple areas of my life and trying to decide what comes next. While reflection is essential, it can stir up a whirlwind of emotions—part excitement, part uncertainty. It's during these moments that I turn to the tools that have supported me through various stages of life, such as audiobooks and meditations, to help center my mind.
In the midst of this self-reflection, I realized something. The mood I’m in often determines which one I turn to. Recently, given the many thoughts running through my head, I chose a guided meditation that focused on grounding. It was a meditation I had never tried before, but it provided me with the chance to stop, reflect, and reconnect with the present moment. I stopped obsessing over the past and trying to predict the future. Instead, I focused on where I am right now—rocky waters, fast-moving currents, and all.
Even though things feel turbulent at times, I realized I’m exactly where I’ve always wanted to be. After all the struggles, the obstacles, and the challenges, this life—the one I’ve been working toward for years—is finally here.
My 30s have been the greatest period of growth in my life. This is the decade where I’ve truly learned who I am, both as a person and as a professional. I’ve let go of the expectations I once had about what my life “should” look like and started living with purpose. And along the way, I've learned that purpose is less about checking boxes and more about accepting where you are in the journey.
Social media often makes it feel like you’re falling behind. It’s easy to feel envious of those who seem to have it all figured out, posting about their glamorous vacations or seemingly perfect families. But the reality is, social media only shows the highlights—what people want you to see. Behind the filtered photos and perfectly curated posts, there could be struggles you’ll never hear about. It's easy to forget that life is messy, and it’s rarely as perfect as it appears online.
For most of my 20s, I waited for everything to “fall into place” before I could truly live. I thought, when we get a house, I’ll do this; when I become a nurse, I’ll do this; when I get that promotion, I’ll start living. But the truth is, life starts now. If we wait for the perfect moment to make our next move, we’ll be waiting forever.
Living doesn't require perfection. It requires presence. And while happiness is something we all chase, it’s not the same as life satisfaction. Learning to embrace life as it is—messy, unpredictable, and full of ups and downs—has given me a sense of satisfaction. Happiness follows naturally from there, but it’s not about being happy all the time. It’s about being at peace with where you are in the moment.
This shift has also helped me stop comparing myself to others. The constant need to compete, to measure up, can be exhausting. When you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, you stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Only then can you start to build the life that’s right for you.
Growth, however, is not a straight line. It’s messy, difficult, and filled with moments where it feels like you’re not progressing at all. In fact, it’s rarely discussed—the messy middle where you're caught between where you were and where you're going. We talk about the destination, but not the journey.
I am very good at getting caught up in my own head. I let the whirlwind of emotions take hold, and it’s so easy to allow these feelings to spiral. Not just a small spiral, but a deep dive—down a sewer, around the bend, and popping out on the other side of the world. One thing that time, growth, and patience has taught me, though, is that this spiral does not benefit anyone. It doesn’t make any part of life easier, and if nothing else, dwelling on the “what-ifs” only leads to more feelings of inadequacy, confusion, and further spiraling downward. While I still may not know what the future holds, and my thoughts may be a jumbled tangle of weeds, I do know for certain that in this moment, right here, right now, I am exactly where I belong.
As I reflect on my path, I realize how often I’ve compared myself to others. The saying “comparison is the thief of joy” couldn’t be truer. I spent so many days, hours, and years measuring my progress against someone else’s timeline. In doing so, I lost sight of my own journey. Now, I see that my path is uniquely mine, and that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
It’s time we acknowledge the messiness of growth. It’s the in-between, the moments when things feel uncertain, that shape us into the people we’re meant to be. The struggle is part of the process, and embracing it is where true transformation happens.
